Ask Dr. Rosie
April 19th, 2011
As the Paradigm Shifts: A is for ….
Beginning any journey whether it be spiritual, business or family oriented, begins by simultaneously building and stepping onto the path. Laying down the materials can be done in any number of ways; if you’ve researched business training programs you know what I’m talking about. A paraphrase I found from the Chinese philosopher, Lau Tzu (604 BC – 531 BC) said:
“Even the longest journey must begin where you stand.”
We find what we need when following the impulse to begin. It doesn’t matter where you start or in what direction you go; beginning is the most challenging & courageous aspect of the journey.
I’ve chosen to adventure with you on this journey of spirituality in business using the ABC’s. My intention is that through the simplicity of the alphabet combined with the elegance of these concepts that I consider essential within a spiritual practice, you will be inspired and will accompany me from the beginning “A” to the end “Z” of this fascinating Spiritual journey.
A is for Acknowledgements, Avoidance, Anxiety, Awareness, Actualization and Acceptance.
A is for Anxiety:Anxiety is the most challenging “A” word. What is labeled most often as anxiety, a sensation in your body that can get very uncomfortable, is one of the primal responses to life as a human being. It keeps you safe; it keeps you from doing things you shouldn’t; it keeps you in the fold of what others expect of you. That anxious feeling arises when you think beyond the current moment to include what may seem to be beyond your comfort zone. Anxiety can be a control freak in your life. It can become the master that you serve. No one likes to feel the qualities of being anxious and so you do whatever it takes to make them go away. The dilemma is that your desired results generally lie on the other side of these sensations.
A is for Avoidance: Avoidance of Restlessness, Irritability and Discontent
Underlying the majority of our survival strategies – our addictions and habitual ways of being – is the commitment to avoid the sensations of anxiety, also experienced as restlessness, irritability and discontent (RID). Distinguishing how we be and what we do – the choices-and the processes we’ve developed to avoid what we don’t want to be, do or know, is a huge practice. Yes, there is a great deal that we don’t want to know or to think about, much less feel or sense in our bodies. However, the choice to avoid the discomfort of RID will create significant obstacles blocking each of us from having what we say we want.
A is for Acknowledgment: By reading this blog you are cultivating awareness (another important A word) regarding some foundational practices of spirituality in business. As you begin to explore and discover underlying sensations and strategies developed to avoid these qualities of being, it’s imperative to begin the practice of acknowledging yourself and these processes. In doing so you are becoming self-realized, and by doing so you are more at choice about how to actualize yourself; that means intentionally choosing to choose what you choose in service to your essential self, your essential truth and that which you want to manifest in the world.
Acknowledging yourself is one piece of this practice. The other is to acknowledge others for choices they make or ways of being that make a difference to you. In the modern work environment too often people are treated only as a resource; their work is void of the humanity, which is the essence of being in all of us. Lack of acknowledgment of our human being-ness creates significant challenges within every aspect of the business world. These issues occur within all of our environments – not just at work, however, because we spend so much of our time at work, lack of acknowledgments here create depression, resistance, low morale, resentment, and apathy, to name just a few. The practice of acknowledging people lets them know that they are seen and valued for everything they bring to the workplace. Everyone is nourished through acknowledgments – including the person giving the acknowledgment.
You might think this is a no-brainer, but notice how often you really acknowledge people for who they are being and how they are being. Notice too, all the times you hold back from acknowledging people. Notice what shows up inside you as you consider whether you’ll say something that lets someone know they are being truly seen. Watch your resistance to saying something nice and ask yourself what creates that resistance, then do it anyway – just as a practice.
It’s easy to love the loveable and it’s easy to say nice things to people you like. Cultivating a spiritual perspective means practicing kindness to those who may rub you the wrong way. What stops you from acknowledging them? What are you wanting to avoid by avoiding an act of kindness?
This is not an easy path, nor is it a comfortable path, for it is wrought with uneasiness, tenderness, agony, grief, anger, anxiety and fear. It’s all about you and only you, as you begin to explore how you be you.
Self-empowerment means becoming self-determined. We face emotions, thoughts, feelings and sensations that at some point we empowered to be bigger than us. Through cultivating awareness we begin to take control and exercise muscles that will support us in limiting the interference of these thoughts, feelings and sensations. We gain the sense of power from the inside out because we are aligning with our own wisdom, which allows us to live on purpose and face our fears more effortlessly.
A is for Acceptance: The serenity prayer goes like this: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
What are you accepting as impossible that you actually have the capacity to make possible? Where are you wanting to avoid the whole conversation of what’s acceptable and what isn’t in service to avoiding the anxiety and all that it leads to? To truly bring spirituality into business we have to be committed enough to ask ourselves these challenging questions – accepting that this is foundational to our personal, professional and our spiritual practice. Enjoy the journey!
Dr. Rosie Kuhn will be speaking on the topic of “Spiritual Wounding in the Workplace” at the San Francisco New Living Expo, Concourse Exhibition Center, Room #7, San Francisco, April 29th, 2011 at 7:00PM.
Dr. Rosie
August 19th, 2010
Living Without a Doubt
From Patricia P. Dublin, Ireland.
Dear Dr. Rosie,
I’ve been reading your column for the past couple of months and so appreciate the depth you bring through your words. Thank you!!!!
I’m losing my job at the end of September. My husband is still working but I’m so afraid there won’t be enough money to keeps things going while I find other work. I sometimes collapse under the anxiety and worry. How will this all turn out? How can I live with so much duress? It’s funny too, that I’ve lost my self-confidence. I just don’t believe that it’s all going to be okay. What do I do?
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Dear Patricia,
First of all let me say that it can feel scary going through what you are going through; the uncertainty, the not knowing, the doubt that it will turn out just fine. Whenever we come up against beginnings or endings it makes sense that fear will be close by; however, it doesn’t mean that there is a need to be troubled or worried. It just means that it feels scary.
So, how do you be with this uncertainty, this doubt without allowing it to drain you of every shred of capability and confidence you have?
The current paradigm we live in has us swimming in a pool of fear and dread. Few places on this planet are free from the anxiety of not knowing how it’s all going to turn out. There are pockets of people who do live in faith. They are the lucky ones. Well, let’s use more empowering terms. They’ve strengthened the muscles of faith and living without a doubt. They gladly give their problems over to a higher power. How did they do this? Good Questions. They decided that living in fear didn’t work for them, so they chose to take a leap out of a belief system that wasn’t working for them to one that supported them. How did they do that? It’s easy and at the same time not so easy.
Believe it or not, we’ve each created the reality we live in out of thin air. Most of us created a reality that was in synch with everyone around us. So if everyone around me believes that we should all be afraid, that we are all powerless, my own personal reality will most likely take on that belief too. At the same time, we have options, which can bring us to being empowered and to creating greater possibility, peace and potential.
What Good is Faith if it is Never Practiced?
My husband, Todd Zimmerman, asked this question of our trainees in one of our transformational coach training sessions. He got people’s attention. What good is faith if it is never practiced? We are talking about our personal faith, the allowing of ourselves to surrender powerlessness to some greater power; some people call this greater power God, Yahweh, Universal Consciousness, or it could be many deities that one turns their worries to. It doesn’t matter to me, it is what you choose to be your higher power.
Cultivating faith has been the most significant practices of my life. Allowing myself to turn my situation over to the Universe, which is my higher power, requires me to trust that it will be taken care of in the best possible way. It means I have to practice letting to and living without a doubt. This is a big practice. It brings up all the times when life didn’t go the way I wanted it to; it means struggling with relinquishing my will. I bet you are asking why would I want to surrender and relinquish my will.
Quite often my willfulness was attached to having things go my way, whether it was harmful for me or others – it didn’t matter. There were, and still are times when I’m not able to make a difference in my situation. Like you, Patricia, I found myself feeling hopeless and powerless. Todd’s question made me curious about faith, what it is and how to use it. As I write to you now I get the enormity of just being with the whole concept of faith, especially personal faith. Even though I’ve had years of practice in turning my will over to a higher power, it isn’t always easy and it isn’t always fun. So, suggesting this practice to you has me question – how does one even begin.
I grew up in the Catholic Church. The requirement of “believing in God or you’ll go to hell,” was not the same as choosing to practice believing. As children, how do we make believe? We imagine! We envision ourselves in different scenarios and play them out to the hilt. We do this all the time, and too often it is unconscious. I want my clients to choose to choose the beliefs that work for them and live into them without a doubt.
All of us, Patricia make believe and we make beliefs. We choose to see the world around us in a way that can make us afraid, angry, anxious, worried, or happy, relaxed, content, courageous – do you see what I mean? Each of us gets to choose, without a doubt, what is true for us. I can choose to believe that my life is going to be amazingly fun and prosperous, and practice living without a doubt. That means that when doubts arise, which they will, I choose in that moment what to do with them. I assess whether there is evidence of truth to that doubt. I then am at choice as to how to be with that doubt. Can I allow that doubt to lead me to further faith, as opposed to fear? That’s a big practice.
So many of us are in this question right now – what makes sense to believe in, where do I put my trust and faith? You get to choose. If what you’ve tried isn’t working for you, try practicing something you haven’t tried yet, such as living in faith. From this faith, what do you want to do? What do you want to make happen? Who do you want to be? In this moment, you get to choose how you want to create the rest of your life. Enjoy your exploration and the practice of living without a doubt!
It’s really important to have support around you. There are spiritual guides and coaches who are prepared to support you through your journey.
Author of Self-Empowerment 101
http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/courses/courseoverview.cgi?cid=68