There are some very practical steps to be taken, but first there are, of course, some questions to be asked by me – the coach. Knowing that you, Usha have family commitments as well as other commitments, I want to ensure that you are balancing your career commitments with the other commitments. I’m curious; what are the commitments that you have to balance? It’s good to make a list of these commitments and then be clear with what sort of investment is required for each. I’m also curious about the hierarchy of these commitments? Which is most important to you, and what is the investment of time, presence and perhaps money for each? How important is the financial aspect of this new career as well?

Notice what feelings arise as you begin to organize your commitments into priorities. Does it feel overwhelming, exciting, frustrating, adventurous, inspiring or something else? This is important to get, because from this place you’ll be potentially choosing to choose without even realizing what you are choosing. Quite often, these feelings that arise can either inspire you or make you feel like quitting before you even begin. Feelings and emotions are hooked to some thought you carry around with you that generally has to do with being worthy enough, being good enough, being smart enough or even being lovable enough. These thoughts trigger actions, which can take you in the opposite direction from where you say you want to go. So, noticing your emotions, feelings, body sensations and your thoughts are essential in the process of successfully creating your career. I encourage you to practice noticing your thoughts and your feelings and see how you move in relation to them.

When I was writing my book, Self-Empowerment 101, I was constantly faced with this voice in my head that said “Who are you to write a book? Who are you to think you are smart enough? Who are you to think people will read your book and get value from it?” Every day this voice was with me as I wrote page after page, until I was done! It was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do – facing that voice that said I wasn’t enough. It took commitment and courage to fulfill my dream of writing that book, but was one of the most important challenges of my life. I know I can face those voices that question my worth, my enough-ness, and do what I set out to do – because I say so.

So, having made a list of commitments, putting them in order of hierarchy and seeing the investment it takes for each, you can begin to create a plan for your career in balance with your other commitments. Usually the first questions I ask in regard to creating your career is: What’s at risk? This question usually gets us into a more serious, more strategic thought mode. It makes us consider what have I got to lose and am I willing to risk the loss? The questions that follow this are: How can you manage your risks? How have you managed risks in the past? Did this way of managing risk work for you? How can you be so that what shows up in the process of creating your business doesn’t scare you or stop you from taking the next step?

Quite often what’s at risk is our identity, our sense of safety and stability. We risk rejection, failure and we even risk being a success. More often than not, these are the risks that create procrastination and avoidance of the next thing to be handled.

We know who we are within our comfort zone, but as we begin to expand ourselves by taking on new ventures, it can begin to feel uncomfortable inside our skin. The yoga of building a business or building relationships of any kind requires stretching through the discomforts of the moment. Our commitment to fulfilling our desires needs to carry us through these uncomfortable times.

Having a thinking partner, like a coach, a mentor or support group, even a friend really helps to keep you on task and accountable for what you say you are going to do. When you get anxious and find some way to avoid taking action there’s someone there to say “So, what’s happening right now? What’s stopping you in this moment?” This gives you a chance to reflect on what it’s like being you as you step into creating yourself beyond your comfort zone. This is an important time to reflect without self-criticism and really honor yourself for the courage it takes to step beyond your known world. What’s crucial, I believe, in creating success is that you clearly and playfully imagine the practice you want.

My final question for you Usha, in this moment, is what do you have to do to create this career as a yoga teacher? Make a list of what needs to be done. Getting a space; a financial plan – asking yourself: What income do I want or need to generate, what do I need to charge, how many students do I need? Do I need a business license and a business account? How am I going to let people know about me and what I bring to the world of Yoga? When you look at this list, ask yourself what needs to be done first? What might you have to research to take the next step?

What you are creating for yourself, Usha is built from the inside and the outside. It’s a combination of being present to the “Who” inside yourself with the “What” of the outside world. More will be revealed over the months, but for now, enjoy the adventure and the exploration of yourself and what you are wanting to create. We are all cheering you on and practicing along with you.

In Vancouver, Canada this week, I sat with a group of women – all successful financial consultants, who are doing their best to make a living for themselves and their families. My associate, Magi, and I were invited in by their Director of Training, Harry, to see what was missing in the company that if it were present would create more empowerment for these women. As wise as Harry is and as much as he “gets” these women, I’m not sure he is fully prepared for what is transpiring as a result of this meeting.

What Harry wanted, I believe, was to give these women an opportunity to be more effective in their career, make more money and have more fun doing it. What showed up in the room of seven participants and two facilitators was far more engaging. What showed up was deep disappointment and discontent in the fact that there are no women managers or directors in this company – there never have been, and from the perspective of these women, there never will be. These women expected to get another “talk” on how to be better consultants. Neither Harry nor these women were ready for the change that may be coming their way.

The dialog emerged from three questions: 1) What is the quality of the experience of having what you say you want? 2) What would you need to shift in order to have that happen? And, 3) what are you willing to practice in order to facilitate the shift and generate what you are wanting? Each question is oriented toward empowering each woman to identify her truth as well as her willingness to fully step into generating her results.

From the first question, each woman felt into the qualities of peace and fulfillment, the confidence and competence, the lightness and fun of having what they say they want. Hearing question two, they became reticent to answer and fell into an anxious silence. There was a mix of “what am I responsible for in my profession” and “what is the company responsible for in providing what I need? This is where the conversation got juicy. Where most conversations can go to blaming or shaming – it’s the company’s responsibility or it’s my responsibility; as transformational coaches we view it as a both, and. It’s the relationship between the company and the women and both are responsible to that relationship. Both are accountable for the evolution of the relationship to its fullest potentiality.

In the current paradigm where the quality of the experience is of being disempowered, and disenfranchised, these women feel powerless and hopeless to make a change within this organization. What these women are living with is a dilemma. On the one hand they are showered with praise because of the successful relationships they build with their clients. On the other hand they are treated as second rate citizens not good enough for cultivating successful relationships as managers and directors. What’s up with that?

As facilitators of this conversation, our job was to cultivate awareness around how we be in relation to our circumstances, that have them be how they be. How are these women unknowingly participating in their own self-deprecation and belittlement? What beliefs and interpretations do they carry that activate submission of their own personal power? In what ways are they seeking approval from others, when it may be most effective to seek approval from themselves? In other words, in what ways could they be disempowering themselves and having it look like that disempowerment is coming from others? Again, this isn’t a conscious process, but one that has evolved over hundreds, if not thousands of years. By shifting the conversation from one based on discrimination and marginalization to one based on something far more foundational to our human processes we can discover incredible potential in just being and being present to the dialog within the company.

Harry, being essentially the only male director who “gets” these women has thrown his hat into an arena that will potentially shift the dynamics and the way this company relates to women and to gender issues. He has a lot at stake now – to continue to follow through with these women and their development, and also to potentially facilitate this transition to equanimity and balanced distribution of power for both men and women.

When there’s something at stake there is a potential for change and for loss, as Ron Heifetz claims. This company is on the verge of a loss of innocence because of these seven women who are willing to embark on shifting their own current paradigm of themselves and their company. This is an essential and critical moment in the life of these women and this company, without which they will continue to struggle and settle for less than full fulfillment of their potential. We are saddened when a rose wilts before it expands into its full bloom. So be it with anything less than the full flourishing of every one of these women, with their company, and with every individual on this planet.

I find that there are other things I don’t finish or complete. I could pay off my credit cards to zero balance, but don’t; I could answer all my emails, cleaning out my email box, but I don’t; I could take care of paper work and bills in a timely manner, but I don’t. What’s that about? In each of these examples I get really close but something stops me from finishing to completion.

So, I took it upon myself to empty out my email box, for one day – just as an experiment. I answered, filed or deleted until there was nothing left to be done! This was such a monumental moment I called my husband to tell him of this incredible feat! He didn’t get it! He didn’t get it until I tied it into all the other places where I don’t complete or finish – like leaving that one last fork or glass in the sink when doing dishes. This one really bugs him, so he got that I was on to something. Why do I consistently leave that one, last detail undone?

So with the practice of keeping my email box empty by responding, filing and deleting as necessary, I took it upon myself to finish all the dishes too – just as an experiment. The next day I awoke feeling emotional and terribly unmotivated. The only way I can explain how I felt is to say that I felt like I had broken up with a boyfriend – just plain yucky, physically and emotionally! I know this emotional sensation was related to finishing these two relatively miniscule projects but how? Why?

Later in the day the explanation came to me as I was being overwhelmingly sad: “I don’t want to complete things because if I complete things that means I’m competent, and if I’m competent that means I can make my own money, and I don’t want to make my own money. I want someone else to make money for me.”

You have to understand that this particular belief was one I created probably before I was 10 years old. I have three masters’ degrees and a Ph.D; I have been facilitating and completing training programs for nine years, and I’ve written and published a book. I’m obviously competent and can obviously complete things. But here is this one little aspect of my life that has, in her own way, been attempting to sabotage success because she wants someone else to make the money and take care of her – as she witnessed for her mother, who didn’t work a day in her life! This little one was holding out for the dream.

I’m fifty-eight years old and still discovering aspects of myself that have agenda’s other than self-empowerment and self-sufficiency. I was gentle with myself all day, giving me time and space to be with the ending of a dream for this little girl. The following day I was pretty much back to my normal self, feeling far less emotional and ready to get back to my routine, which now includes the practice of doing every last dish and being more intentional about emptying out my email box.

I tell you this story because I find life so fascinating. My life, my stories and experiences are just reflections of what so many of you encounter throughout your days, which are filled with beginnings, middles and endings. It’s good to notice where you get stopped while attempting to fulfill a dream, a goal or just a simple project like getting all the dishes done. It’s also good to be with what shows up as you practice beginning, finishing or pushing through that middle part that can be just as challenging.

In my work as a life and corporate coach, I encourage each of my clients to practice elemental steps – like putting every last fork away, or keeping their email box empty for just a short time – maybe for just a few days. Asking them to do this allows them to practice it without having to commit themselves forever. They can then experience their choice-making process from that deeper, more subtle place. Then, they can decide for themselves whether they want to continue the practice or not.

In every recovery program, such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) the slogan “One Step at a Time” is so critical. It’s in these very small, seemingly unimportant aspects of our lives that huge nuggets of living show up. Its fun, fascinating, and yes, sometimes challenging to engage in this experiment of living and cultivating awareness about how you do what you do and be how you be. By doing so, you give yourself a splendid opening to know yourself better. In so doing, you come to respect and honor how you got to this very moment of your life, poised for the next opportunity to sore!

I’d love to hear from you with questions or challenges of your own.

Developing a successful practice is an inside job. The more you internally cultivate the experience and knowing that you have something incredible to offer the more you effortlessly exude your essence-self. The more authentic and real you are, the more people will be attracted to you. They will approach you asking what it is you do. Be that invitation!

What I want to know is how do you want to let people know about you? What are ways that you enjoy engaging with people? What feels effortless to you in creating conversations about what you do? Writing, speaking, classes, workshops, & free demonstrations are just some of the ways to have people get curious and even fascinated with who you are and what you do; you get to decide what’s your way.

Here’s were things get “hard.” Though you’ve been training and practicing, building skills, getting your website and cards ready, you have to “do something” to connect with people in some way so they can find you. You have to actively take steps to engage with your potential audience. People won’t find you on the internet or be interested in having your card unless you’ve somehow been intriguing enough that they want to know more about you. The dilemma: I want clients but I don’t want to deal with rejection, or I don’t want to give up my free time, or I don’t want the responsibility of. . . . will create the thought “This is HARD!” Know that and decide again what you are committed to.

For me, being the invitation works so much better because I’m doing what I love in such a way that people are curious enough to contact me for work. That whole thing of “Do what you love and the money will come” really works. I still have to be-with potential rejection and the responsibility of being successful, but it’s worth it because I’m enjoying myself. I’m having fun and more and more people are curious. I totally encourage you to find your way of inviting people into your world.

Thank God we didn’t have to think about how we were supposed to get out of the womb. Very few of us would have made it into this world if left to our own creation. Coming into this world was probably the most difficult journey we’ve ever taken in this lifetime – and we did it with total uncertainty that we’d survive. Interestingly enough, many of my clients and trainees who are developing their practice face the very same issues they faced in their birth process. This transformational coaching stuff is very profound!

I asked a student in my practicum course the other day when she had made a choice where there was complete certainty and knowing. The answer came swiftly; she said, “When I decided to attend ITP, I knew it was the right thing.” I asked how she knew. She said, without being conscious of what she was saying, “I didn’t let my mind interfere with my decision.” Wow! How fascinating! She was able to distinguish the process of not allowing her mind to interfere with the certainty of her knowing. How often do we let our minds turn our knowing into confusion, uncertain mush. What the heck is that about?

An essential foundation of the Transformational Coaching Training Program is to practice what we preach, walk our talk, be the change we wish to see (as best we can). By exploring our own relationship with uncertainty and vulnerability, by distinguishing our own survival mechanisms and strategies in relation to creating desires beyond the edges of what is certain, we increase our level of competence to be-with other’s situations and dilemmas where uncertainty is the pivotal context. In consciously stepping into cultivating your practice, using the coaching skills and tools on yourself, you will become far more effective, more confident and more inviting. You’ll be a magnet to clients. I have no doubt about that!

Here are some questions in service to growing your practice:

1. What are you certain about in relation to your work? What do you know?
2. What have you done, what actions have you taken in making this happen, e.g. gotten a masters or Ph.D. in supporting personal development, got certified as a coach, etc?
3. How much have you invested in your work as you know it, financially, physically, time, space?
4. When does the uncertainty show up? What thoughts precipitate the uncertainty?
5. How have you been being with uncertainty in the past? What have you done to avoid crossing the threshold or actually meeting that choice-point? How have you distracted yourself from this choice point? Perhaps with another certificate, another training, another graduate degree, another. . . . ?
6. What ways can you be with uncertainty now? What new ways can you be-with your thinking (your context) about potential failure, the potential mistakes, etc?
Ask yourself “What am I really committed to?”
7. Then ask “What am I willing to do? What’s the smallest incremental step I can take to get me closer to my work as I know it to be?”

It’s not about getting clients. It’s about practicing being in right-relationship with yourself in relation to uncertainty. Like I said, get this, and you will be a client magnet!!! Of this I have complete certainty!

First; every single one of us stepping into a new day or a new situation faces uncertainty. For instance, with the economic shifts as they are, it facilitates the opportunity to notice how we be with uncertainty. Do we ignore, distract, deny, control, allow, be open to, intellectualize, emotionalize, spiritualize? There are all kinds of ways of being with those circumstances that are fraught with uncertainty. Rarely do we consider all of the possibilities and ramifications of those possibilities.

Second; uncertainty creates a sense of vulnerability. No one likes the feeling of being vulnerable. The quality of being vulnerable can feel tense, tight, anxious, squishy, weak, helpless, powerless, incapable, incompetent, immobilized. Who wants to experience these qualities of being?

Third; over years perhaps decades each of us has perfected our particular survival strategies, as best we can, to eliminate vulnerability and avoid uncertainty.

In walks your client: Anyone seeking coaching is wanting something that they can’t seem to make happen under their own volition. Something is in their way. Generally, what is in the way is how they are being with the uncertainty of having what they say they want; more to the point, it’s the fear of having to be with relinquishing old ways of being and doing, for new or different ways of being. It could be the uncertainty of just wanting what they want. There is a lot of vulnerability in allowing yourself to want. There is a large degree of uncertainty as to whether you’ll get what you want. . . . There is the uncertainty of success, uncertainty of how you will be with success, uncertainty of how you will be if you fail. It’s all unknown.

The question is how do you be with uncertainty?

How most of us be is invulnerable. We create strategies that support being invulnerable. We avoid and distract ourselves from feelings and thoughts that manifest the angst and anxiety that arise with uncertainty. We avoid that void that perhaps feels like death. We create strategies to survive those feelings – keeping them at bay so as not to feel the element of danger. Or we create “what if’s” that actually bring up feelings of uncertainty – “what if I make a mistake or fail?” Isn’t it fascinating that so many of us actually create scenarios in our heads that creates the uncertainty that we are wanting to avoid. Actually, this particular strategy keeps us stuck in possibilities that we can only imagine and stops us from stepping into the unknown or into uncertainty that we can’t imagine.

My client Ruth is courageously creating a new life for herself at sixty years old. She’s been married twice, has grown children and has had various careers. But what she realized in our last session is that throughout her life she has been avoiding the uncertainty of following her own path. For the sake of security and certainty she’s followed a path laid out by those who’ve gone before her.

We explored what kept her from taking the path less traveled and the concept of uncertainty came up. “What does uncertainty mean to you?” Ruth was able to trace back to a moment when she was three years old and holding her youngest brother. Being the oldest sibling and the only girl she had a thought in that instance that if she dropped this baby it would be a catastrophe. In that moment she sealed herself off from even the thought of what might happen and began to learn how to control circumstances in such a way as to avoid uncertainty and inevitable dangers may that arise – especially in the mind of a three year old. She laughs in that moment as she reveals how she developed her controlling, perfectionistic personality. If uncertainty could potentially lead to catastrophe what strategies would any child develop?

You gotta know that most of us develop our relationships with the main concepts of humanity before we are six. We are trying to create a how-to manual to ensure we are worthy, valued and lovable. We decide what’s true and how to be in relation to what’s true. If what’s true for Ruth is that uncertainty will lead to catastrophe, she’s going to develop strategies for being and being with uncertainty that could only lead to certainty.

As a coach, if we can keep in mind that each of our clients is avoiding uncertainty and vulnerability, we can begin to distinguish specific strategies that may limit them in having what they say they want. We then empower them to be clear about the choices they make and to perhaps choose differently in service to their intended results. As a practice, they can begin to cultivate awareness around how they be with uncertainty and to exercise different muscles that will give them more flexibility in their choice-making ability.